andiecrafts

I guess the donuts did not help. I am feeling worse than ever. I want to cry, but I cannot. My privacy is quite limited for the meantime, but I guess there are other ways to express my emotions. I’ll just save my tears until I get my own room back.

I have come up with a new theorem which I am currently trying to prove: I can be happy even when I am sad. I guess one’s disposition is one’s choice. To be able to prove this theorem, I have to be less expressive of my emotions: should these be good or bad.

The reason behind my desire to prove this theorem is the eventual results of my expressiveness. I have managed to express both angry and positive emotions, but it seems that the more I expressed my regard for others, the more license I give them to hurt me. I am currently so hurt in ways no one will ever know. Sometimes, I just wish that humans were more cannibalistic, so that instead of tearing my heart slowly and emotionally, they would do it in a faster and more physical manner. This way, the suffering only occurs once, and for only a short period of time.

I currently feel like dirt. I feel like nothing. I am treating myself to coffee and donuts, and I really do pray that I will feel better after this.