andiecrafts

I have been reading most of my old entries from my other blogs. I was planning on transferring all of them to this blog, but something at the back of my head is telling me that I should be selective about the blog entries which I wish to be seen publicly.

My very first blog entry was dated back on May 13, 2003 (in crazylife). Most of the entries I have on that blog is concerned with my weight, and that blog has been a witness to the further crookedness my thinking has experienced, despite the enormous weight loss I have undergone. Now that I have gained some weight again, I am very scared of reading the entries I have made way back almost 3 years ago. Those entries might trigger me badly, and I might mess up my mind more (by the way, my mind is already so messed up, any more messing up will be the ultimate ticket for a lifetime vacation at a mental institution).

I have managed to transfer most of my livejournal entries (I have not had the courage to transfer two of the longest entries. Again, they are about my weight concerns.). I have been looking for my pisayweb entries, but that site seems to have been removed from the world-wide web. I remember some of the entries I have posted on that site, and I wish I could find them again. Most of the entries I have made on that site was about the fun and joy I felt about being alive. I should experience more of that. I need to remember that life is not about being the best, but about being alive and well. I should stop being pessimistic. And I will. I have made my choice, and I do, do pray that it will all go according to plan.