It has been a week since my last post. I have come to notice that my posts are becoming less and less frequent (and sometimes, less substantial, too). I am slowly running out of things to say (or am I?), but nevertheless, I still have 30 minutes to ponder on what to say (or not to say).
I have just been reading Ala Paredes’ blog, and I find it quite difficult to admit that being a celebrity has its own advantages I have come to appreciate full time. I have always believed that being a celebrity sucks like a super-powered vacuum cleaner. I never got to appreciate the hours they had to spend in front of the camera (which, by the way, are the same hours they spend being bossed around by the ever-powerful and omnipotent creature most commonly known as the director), and the eventual lack of privacy. Nevertheless, there is no way that I am going to exchange my current life for something like Ala’s. Weighing the advantages and the disadvantages of being rich and famous, I say the disadvantages might haunt me relentlessly should I choose to live a life of a “STAH!”.
Back to the life of the common tao known as vikki/andie/balieu. I am currently freezing to death once again in the library, and I just want to suck the brains of all the staff and workers of this frigging school clean off their skulls (it is just that there is nothing left for me to suck anymore). The people running this school are nothing short of frigging morons out of their frigging minds. What the F! Sadly, my father does not realize that much, since he is planning to send my younger brother to the high school version of the ‘university’ (what a joke!) where I am currently imprisoned. The worst part of it all is that my father is so stubborn about his choice (which is that to destroy my brother’s future), I cannot doubt any longer where my own stubborn skull came from.
An earthquake just passed. It would be utterly geeky and stupid for me to try and calculate the wavelength, wave speed, frequency, angular frequency, wave number, and the like of the earthquake (though I should be allowed to say that I was a little tempted to, had I just known how) that I was just lucky enough to have experienced, enjoyed, and lived through (though that last bit might be a tad of an exaggeration). I like earthquakes. I like thunderstorms. I guess I like nature so much I get to experience its beauty even in its scariest forms.
I am so baduy sometimes. Maybe that is why I like a lot of baduy things as well.
With that out of my system, I shall now proceed to the thing that has been bothering me a lot lately. Menchie has been so sad lately. We have planned a little cheering-up surprise for her, and I hope it does its job really well. *Sigh.* As I have said, being a friend is one of the most fulfilling and depressing jobs of all. I really want her to cheer up. She is usually the one cheering all of us up, and I guess today is payback time. I hope (with all my fingers and toes crossed) that this ‘revenge’ will go according to plan.
I just spoke with Anj yesterday. Her voice and text messages are making me float on a cloud. I just miss her so much, and I cannot help but wish that the next PIIE congress would be tomorrow. The euphoria I am feeling from having just had some form of hi-tech contact with the person that has changed my life the most might last me a lifetime. That might be another exaggeration, but it sure feels like it.
Damn. I sound like a frigging lesbian.
I have just realized that most of the male species are so insecured of the modern woman. With such a statistic, it has been made evident that there are very few real men left in this world.I have just watched “Stepford Wives, ” and nothing can be more enlightening than this movie, concerning the attitude of a real (or otherwise) man towards the ever becoming powerful species most commonly known as women.
As of now, I am too sleepy to continue this entry. I must say adieu on a tiny note: I cannot but sometimes help wishing that my own mother is a Stepford Wife.
My blog has lost its mind. It has suddenly gone haywire, most probably due to the new template I have, which, by the way, I like a lot. I have very little time left, so any hopes of fixing my blog today are feeble. Damn. Just my luck.
Come to think of it, it seems as if my luck has been playing an immensely mean joke on me today. Other than that, today is a friday on the 13th day of the month. I should say I have never experienced this much unluck on a friday the 13th before. In fact, friday the 13th has almost always posed to be a very lucky day for me. Nevertheless, the unluck has not changed my disposition at all. I have never been short of happy, patient and cheerful today, despite the things (whether to write them down or not is still a debate going on in my mind) that have been happening to me today. AND IT FEELS SOOOO GOOD TO FEEL SOOOOO GOOD!!! I do not know what that is supposed to mean, but it sure feels nothing short of that statement.
Here is an outline of my ‘unlucky’ day: To start the day, my asthma troubled me from the very second this day started. Upon reaching the school, I misplaced my calculator, and my period suddenly decided to come by and visit. Upon taking my statistics exam, I had to borrow a calculator from my teacher, who gave me a stare which made my skin jump from my flesh (almost literally). After the exam, blood seeped through my skirt. I had to go home and finish the Physics seatwork that was to be passed today. On frigging item in the Physics seatwork gave me a really difficult time. When I got back to school for public speaking, it seemed as if my teacher hated me a little (at about 10%) for today. I know he will get over it. I already have.
Despite the stressful and unlucky day, my mood just seems to be getting better and better. I do not know why. Maybe the New Year’s Resolutions I have made regarding my attitude have started imprinting themselves onto my system, and they are only starting to get evident. I really do hope that this is the case. I hope that my attitude would not deteriorate back to the times I get to scare the wits out of almost every being that crosses my path. Haay, hoping… As I have said, it is the job of a fool. I guess I am but just another fool in this wold, after all.
I feel a little stupid today. I lost the continuation of the December 8 entry, when I should have had that posted eons ago. I also feel stupid because of the new template I have. It is cute, and I guess it is partially true. And only that much I will admit for now.
Anyway, today is the first day of our CWTS immersion. I guess I am a mess from the mixture of emotions the activity has awoken in me. I am excited, overwhelmed, happy, anxious, ready, panicky, and everything else in between. I guess I am torn between the task of helping others and getting a good grade in this subject. Although a good grade is not exactly something I am obsessed about anymore, it still haunts me in a healthy way.
The funny thing about my current dilemma is that if I am able to achieve one, the other is most likely to follow. I guess it is just that I really dislike the fact that helping others will have to be so forced on us, and that if we do not get it right (which, by the way, is a most dissappointing and painful thing to experience), we suffer, which is not the essence of helping others out. Anyway, I guess I should stop complaining. THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE OUT!!! I guess I should always look at it that way, and start disrgarding other points of view. That may render me a very narrow-minded person, but I guess my CWTS experience would be much better if I view it in no other way than this.
PS: Count how many ‘guess’ there are in this entry.