I AM SO DARN ANGRY!!! THEY ARE TAKING AWAY THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I HAVE FELT REAL PEACE AND SOLITUDE MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! I hate this family!!! The worst part of it is that I am hating myslef more than ever!!!
I am going to find a blade. I need to free my sorrows. Tears aren’t enough. If I won’t bleed, I am going to die really soon.
Today is a witness of one of the nicest weathers I have ever taken into account. I have my windows wide open, and the cold air keeps rushing in, filling me with fresh oxygen and goosebumps. The rain falls TO the ground, and yet FOR something else. It acts as if it feels for me. As if it is doing its free fall to remind me of my state, and yet comfort me by letting me know that I am not alone.
The weather is making my respiratory system go haywire. My nose is clogged, and my lungs feel heavy. Nevertheless, this is the kind of weather which makes me feel so whole. This kind of weather makes me feel as if I fit in with the world, when exactly that is something which might never happen in real life. But I guess knowing the truth yet feeling otherwise brings with it some priceless comfort. A comfort of feeling something but not owning that which brings an immeasurable amount of burden to one’s soul.
I wish this moment will last forever. I wish I shall forever be stuck in this room, listening to the CD which I gave away for my 18th birthday. How I wish I will never have to face life’s problems anymore, especially the latest that has plagued my life.
Sigh.
I wish for too many things…
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