AndieCrafts

I was über bored at home today, so I decided to go to school and avail of the ineternet connection at Kalasag. And what do you know? The internet connection there went totally haywire. Crap.

I am trying to watch Borat here in Netopia (oh God. I hate internet cafes…) I don’t feel much like writing, since no one can argue with the fact that this place is totally uncomfortable, and non-conducive for good writing. I have a lot of unpublished entries in my flash disk right now, and yet I do not feel like publishing them just yet.

Please spare me from further boredom.

And yet how dead I feel. Christmas is approaching oh-too-soon, and yet I barely feel its spirit. I guess Christmas isn’t the way it used to be: it has become extremely commercialized, and the market makes it seem as if Christmas is nothing if it were not for the lights, the food, and the gifts. Either that, or the fact that maybe it is I who have changed.

Maybe I have transformed into the kind of skeptic and cynic who would never change their views about the world in general, not even at Christmas. The world has made me into the monster that I am right now, and yet I can never blame the world: everything goes not by coincidence but by choice. I guess I took Kuya Ian’s statement that says “When you trust, you get hurt. And that’s part of growing up” too seriously. One could say I am quite untrusting, and even worse, quite incapable of loving. I have expressed those words a million times in my blog, and yet I just cannot seem to stop writing them down over and over again. Maybe I am hoping someone would would sense the desperation in my words and save me. Or maybe by repeating these words again and again, I would finally get over this stage in life (hoping that it is only a stage, and not an eternal suffering). But what if repetition leads my unconscious into thinking that I actually am the monster, and that there is nothing anybody could do about it?

I just received a message from Kuya Nes of Midtown. It says” Like the water, be peaceful; Like earth, know balance; Like fire, love passionately; And like wind, be free. ” The message makes me all the more sad, since a part of me gave reasons for this not being true. The water is not as peaceful as it seems: it has been recently proven, in the form of a tsunami, that the havoc waters can wreak are one of the most monstrous in the world. The earth has lost the balance it has once lived, thanks to exploiters, loggers and hunters that take advantage of whatever she has to offer. Fire, passionate as it may be, causes harm when not needed, and is sometimes too puny when one does not feed it enough. And lastly, the wind is not longer as free as it used to be: people sell oxygen in tanks nowadays. What do you know? My cynicism showing through, and to think it is only a 160-character SMS. Surprise, surprise.

Why the blue mood? Quoting the entry I made on January 4, 2005, I really, really want to box my mom’s nose. Well, maybe not as much as Iwanted to hours ago. She wanted me to make her a prayer, which I did, but was not satisfied with. So she pestered me in the early hours of today’s morning. First straw. Then she got angry at me for something about her requests not being done immediately. Second straw. Then she left the diskette that had the prayer at home, and made me deliver it to her office. Supposedly the last straw, but I let her get away with it anyway. Then she called home again, asking, no, DEMANDING, where the diskette is. Über last straw. I just lost it (but not as bad as I normally would). I mean, she IS my mom, but I believe that she has no right to treat me that way. She was so mean, and right now, I have no plans of coming to her Christmas party at the office. My dad told me to come home at 4 o’clock, and it is 4 o’clock, but I utterly don’t feel like it. I wish I could just stay here in school until I feel like going home.

Oi. My dad made me get the curtains my mom had tailored at my aunt’s. I never want to do another favor for my mom again until she says she’s sorry, but since my dad asked, might as well get it over with anyway. I guess its time to go home now. Ate Ina says my entry is getting too long. Hahaha.

Arrivederci.

P.S.

I DO NOT WANT TO GO HOME!!! I have no plans of spending another Christmas party in my mom’s office until midnight with no one to talk to, and with nothing to do. Crap.

SURVEY WITH A TWIST! YOU fill in the blanks about ME and send it back to me, but first send a blank one out to all your friends so they can return the favor to you. Be honest - or just be as funny as you can. They’re really cool to get back, you might find out something you had never realized before. It only takes a few minutes. First: Send this survey to everyone you know to see how well they know you. Second: Fill this survey out about the person who sent it to you and send back to them.

1. My name:
2. Where did we meet?:
3. Take a stab at my middle name:
4. How long have you known me?:
5. How well do you know me?:
6. Do I smoke?:
7. Do I believe in God?:
8. When you first saw me what was your impression?:
9. My age:
10. Birthday:
11. Color hair:
12. Eye color:
13. Do I have any siblings?:
14. Have you ever had a crush on me?:
15. What’s one of my favorite things to do?:
16. Do you remember one of the 1st things I said to you?:
17. What’s my favorite type of music?:
18. What is the best feature about me?:
19. Am I shy or outgoing?:
20. Would you say I am funny?:
21. Am I a rebel or do I follow all the rules?:
22. Any special talents?:
23. Would you consider me a friend?:
24. Would you call me preppy, slutty, a homie, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy,snobby, raver, or rocker something else?:
25. Have you ever seen me cry?:
26. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?:
27. Are my parents still together?:
28. What do I love? (pretty general, huh?!):
29. What is my best accomplishment?
30. Do I do drugs?
31. Have I ever been there for you?
32. Am I smart?
33. Conservative or liberal?
34. Name one way I’ve made an impact on your life.
35. Who do you think I’ll marry?
36. What is your favorite thing to do with me?
37. Have I ever told you I liked you?:
38. Have I ever been in love?:
39. When was the last time we spent time together?
40. If, in one hour, I’ll be gone forever… what will be your last words for me?:

Post your answers using the comments link below.

I dared to peek. It was one of the greatest risks I have taken that day, but considering our losses, I seriously believed I have got nothing to lose. I was so near the flag, so close to victory, and yet it seemed like miles away from the tips of the fingers of my outstretched hand. There were so many of them, ready to shoot me the moment they saw even just a square inch of me showing through. But I ran for it anyway.

I got to the flag. Now, how to get back. I shouted for my allies to cover for me, but there was no reply. Time was running out, and enemies were coming closer. The chances of me losing the flag for which I had to gather all of the strength and courage, and maybe a little stupidity and blind luck, in me was growing every second I stayed behind the barricades I could consider as a friend only for so long. Enemies hid where they could get a good shot at me once I emerged, and somehow, that got me pretty scared. But I decided, to hell with it. I started running, and then it happened: I slipped and fell—flat on my face.

The above described incident that almost took away every inch of dignity (right after thinking that I have got nothing to lose) inside the human shell I currently inhabit happened around 36 hours ago. My Kalasag Family decided to have a Christmas Party in the form of an “Urban Tour,” which took place last Monday, December 18.

The Tour started at around 2 in the afternoon, by playing a little paintball. It was a first for all of us (I think), and frankly, I knew nothing about the sport. Being the paintball virgins that we were, we were so excited and hesitant at the same time. The incident described above was, as far as I could remember, the only time our team won. After falling flat on my face, I waited for enemies to shoot me, but none came. So I took the flag and ran for the life of me. We won!!! Aside from the utter shame and embarrassment I got from the game, I got a big purple bruise on my right thigh (which was caused by a paintball), body pains, dirty—no, filthy—clothes, and FUN!!! I guess I was too caught up in my busy and goal-oriented life that I have almost forgotten what fun felt like.

prep for paintball

wiping off imaginary sweat

warlord, jejeje

the mark my legendary fall made

the most amazing bruise I have ever had my entire life…
caused by a meager paintball, wajajaja!!!

After the game, we had a massage. It was actually a little painful, considering the strenuous activity we just emerged ourselves in. We had dinner at Buffet Palace, and I was so hungry I think everything that I ate must have equaled the weight of a full-grown elephant. Then we went to a karaoke bar, exchanged gifts and sang our hearts out until 2 in the morning (I got home at 3, though my parents do not know that). It was a pretty long day, but a day whose memories I would never exchange for anything in the entire world.

before the massage (with Intet)

chubby me with Bevz after dinner
(in front of Buffet Palace)

my Kalasag Family
(complete with Sir Bong!)

videoke time!

singing my heart out until 2 am

It has been barely a day and half, and yet I miss my Kalasag family already. I am so scared of approaching that point wherein I am faced with the ultimate truth of graduation, and consequently, leaving Kalasag. I am also scared of
having to face the departure of our editors, to whom I have grown extremely accustomed to. But all good things must come to an end.

Enough of talking about ends. This season is about love and beginnings, and I plan on doing just that. I have already spent my Christmas with my IE classmates (although it was not a very good one), and with my Kalasag family. I thought Menchie, Mujik and I were supposed to meet yesterday, but all the strength I had last Monday was drained because of the tour, and so I was knocked out the entire day. Oh well, I will just send them a message tomorrow morning. I hope that they will understand.

I guess this entry is becoming too long, and so I believe that I should bid you now, farewell. Farewell, and A Merry, Merry Christmas to you and your families.

I think I know what I need to save me from extreme loneliness for the rest of my life. I think I need someone who would sing me to sleep every night.

I am extremely hungry. And I guess it is about time to eradicate extreme poverty and hunger by going home.

I am a little disappointed with myself. I did not do as well as I hoped in my Econ 150 and Macroecon exams today. But I guess I did fairly, considering the fact that I did not study as deeply as I hoped to.

My Strength of Materials subject is another issue, however. I think I did extremely well on it, again, considering the fact that I did not study for that exam. I really do hope that I got a perfect mark on that exam. If I did, I guess I would finally get THE grade (to be updated next year).

Tomorrow, I will be having my Theology and Political Science Exams, which I plan on perfecting. Crap. I am tired of talking about academic issues. Honestly, proud as I may be of some of my academic successes, talking about grades makes me puke-y.

I need a job. I have been planning to have one for such a long time now. It’s just that jobs are simply avoiding me. I was hoping to get a job, and I guess I am best at being a tutor.

This entry is going to be a short one. To everyone who reads this, if you know anyone who needs tutoring in Math (Algebra, Trigonometry, Calculus, Geometry) and Physics subjects, please contact me at 09172514197 or e-mail me at andiealbino@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading this entry…

Those two cute creatures, my friend, are shrews. How they came to be identified with women of liberated minds paired with a poisonous mouth, I have just come to realize. It was once believed that shrew bites are extremely poisonous, which when compared with the words women with strong minds, such as myself, could procure, are then minute in their poisonous effects.

Thus, I end my entry, bidding you, my reader, adieu. My Methods class is up in a couple of minutes, and I need to be early for the quiz we are going to have.

I still have a lot of homework to do: a task which is right at home in the list of things I would never wish upon my worst enemies (in fact it even has its own niche). I still have a lot of entries left hanging (“G-tech Incident” and “Thoughts of which are mused only by fools” by my dearest friend, Roa Ming). Oh well. Me and my busy life. Surpise, surprise.

Company issue: still a complete zero. Our place in Papo Shirts was supposed to be rock solid, but he just thought we did not deserve the break. When did anybody ever think I deserved a break in the first place? I mean, I ONLY study twice as hard as most kids, and damn it, I am even way smarter. Why would I deserve a break, RIGHT? Frankly, as much as I want to burst my own bubble, anyone who reads this should give me the chance to even realize that I do have a bubble to burst.

How I wish I am spared from the pains I am feeling right now. My academic life is eating my youth. I stand corrected. My academic life is DEVOURING and HAPPILY FEEDING on my youth. And God knows I do not have much of this “youth” left in me. I oftentimes act childish just to hide the oldness I feel in my body, heart, soul, mind, and being. My entirety is caught up in such a world I have created for myself: disappointing goals and even more disappointing relationships (not one of which involves romance, damn it. How much more of a loser could I actually get?). Oi. How I wish that one of these days, I cry not because of my disappointments in school, but because of my disappointments in terms of my lovelife. And mind you, I have been wishing that for quite some time now.

Even so, I could never get myself to like, all the more love, someone in a romantic way. I am way too much of a shrew to allow that. Oh Katherine, how lucky you are. When do you suppose will I find my own Petruchio—someone who will challenge my strengths and endow me with softness only a man of his attributes can realize? Oh, Elizabeth, when will my own prejudice be broken, in such a manner as yours was? Will I ever have my own Darcy, a person so sacrificing and so loving as to put aside his own pride for love? I guess I read too much books. Haha.

Well, since this entry is coming to its end, I suppose I should be back to the real world I UNFORTUNATELY live in. World, welcome me, your best cynic (best, in the sense that I do my job as a cynic really well), with open arms.

Crap. Homework. I almost forgot. Well, I guess Mozart, my pen, my notebooks, and my other school junk will be my companions for tonight. How I wish I will be able to apply once and for all the wise words of Mark Twain, and that is to not allow my schooling to interfere with my education.

Au revoir.

P.S.

By the way, to those of you who know not of Katherine, Petruchio, Elizabeth, and Darcy, please read The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare (or just watch 10 Things I Hate About You), and Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (or just watch the movie under the same title). But put your complete trust on me when I say that to read the books, rather than watch the movies, is a more intellectual and fulfilling way of spending your meaningless time in the world (unless, of course, your life is less meaningless compared to my single and work-absorbed existence… well, you know what I mean).

I am currently alone in the office right now. Classes were shortened today, and apparently everyone else had their reasons (one of which is to watch the latest James Bond movie) for leaving the office early, thus the reason for my solo state. I have a lot of things on my mind, one of which pertains to the company issue (or the lack, thereof), and so I must do something with these thoughts before I proceed with my own plans in life.

I had just opened my fictionpress.com account after eons of neglect. I have almost forgotten the existence of that account. Had I not started writing fiction again yesterday, I would never have been able to visit that account again for the rest of my life.

I am uber distracted. I will try to update later. Au revoir for now.