andiecrafts

Barely an hour ago, my dad called. Whatever we talked about made me feel like a fifteen-year-old once again. But in a really bad way.

Before I officially start ranting, I better discuss the real deal with honesty: it sucks. People keep telling you to be honest, but they never really appreciate the truth. Maybe because the truth has this natural ability of being inconvenient at the worst possible time. So when people tell you that all they want in their relationships is honesty, they’re lying. And that’s the truth.

Anyway, I am really trying my best to be honest as much as I possibly can. And since I’m starting to think more maturely (yeah right), I decided to be completely honest with my parents. Almost three weeks into my new pierce, I told my mum I got one. I knew she’d be upset, but hey, I am officially an adult, and not to mean any disrespect, but my decisions have to account for something, right? Maybe I wasn’t being completely honest with her. I have reasons for having this pierce. And maybe the reason why I didn’t express them was the fact that they were a bit cheesy (self expression thing, blah, blah, blah…). If I am a natural cynic, then take note of this: whatever traits I have (well, make that MOST of the traits I have. I mean, my parents would not have thought about getting a tongue pierce in the first place. And that doesn’t come from insanity. It comes from a trait only I have, and for simplification purposes, let’s call that trait “Jane.”), I inherited from my parents with a third of its natural intensity. That means if I am insane, my parents are three times more insane than I am (and to put it simply, no cynic in their right minds would ever believe someone getting a pierce for the reasons that I got mine). Imagine an Andie with three times the personality. Scary, I know.

She was upset. Normal. She threatened to pry it out with the nail-prying part of a hammer (I think she views this pierce as simply a piece of rusty nail in the middle of my mouth, or maybe that’s just me). Bearable. But when she began equating the pierce with an Andie that would never graduate with honors, that was when I started to get pissed off. When did a pierce of any kind contribute to someone’s deterioration (mentally, emotionally, and psychologically)? I have been used to believe that when you constantly declare something, it will come true. I constantly openly declare that I will graduate with honors. I will be known as Andie, the underachieving overachiever Cum Laude. But my parents just want to do otherwise. I think I’m starting to love them a little less.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my mom decided to tell my dad. I was planning to tell him that I got a pierce when he gets back on August, but my mom just had to spill the beans. So my dad gave me this utterly exasperating lecture about me not being from the slum areas, and that I am a college student, and that no college student not coming from the slum areas (equation: college student U* person not living in the slums) has a tongue pierce, blah, blah, blah. It kind of bring back memories. Like the time he lectured me about Ateneo (de Davao) being the best place for me to go to college, because they have great teachers, and the curriculum was great, and that I’d learn a lot of things there, and a bunch pf other stuff that never really came true. Oh, except for the “close to home” part. Good days. Wish I could relive them.

Then came a worse part (trust me, there’s a worst coming up). He got on the Andie-the-not-Cum-Laude part. God! I am starting to think they do not want me to be a Cum Laude! As if they were preparing for me to be a bum for the rest of my life! I know my parents have been pretty supportive, but couldn’t they just push it a bit further? Or maybe this is their way of showing their support… Hmmm… Never thought about that. They know I hate it when they declare negative things, but I guess it really is difficult to teach old dogs new tricks. Sorry for all the 48 year-olds out there, but as far as I know, the two 48 year-olds in my life are really difficult to teach some new principles. Yay! Another truth that hurts like hell!

Then the worst part (exciting, yay, drumroll please). He started asking about my OJT, which, during its first week, sucks like hell. Then he went on with my English tutoring job. He (again, as if the first time didn’t hurt enough) expressed the probability of me graduating without honors, and gave out the suggestion that I should just quit my job. OK, that I could understand. He’s a father, and he must be really concerned (though he’s showing it in a twisted kind of way). I was about to explain why I am considering keeping my job, when the worst thing he could possibly say was said by him (last eleven words said in a Mojo Jojo way).

Stop ka na lang muna sa job mo. Hayaan mo, bibigyan ka na lang namin ni Mama mo ng extra allowance.

Ouch! Aray! Aguy! You probably have no idea how this statement has hurt me. Let me make things clear: I AM NOT WORKING AS AN ENGLISH TUTOR FOR THE PAY!!! I AM WORKING BECAUSE I FIND THE RESULTS OF MY TEACHING MUCH MORE FULFILLING THAT ANYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! This statement has made me appear like someone who is desperate for money. If I was, then I would not have woken up early just to get to work at 5:30 in the morning for the past 11 (almost 12) months. If I was, then I would not have bothered getting out of bed just to get a pay of about 2,500 bucks every month (ever since the start of second semester, I work under time because of my effing 7:40 AM classes, and now, because of my OJT). And If I was, I would have called in sick during those days I felt so tired and not felt like going to work. Not once during those 11-turning-12 months have I called in sick (though I have been late a couple of times), and that can’t possibly be because I am working only, and for no other reasons than, money.

I know my parents know I hate it when they declare negative things happening to me. I know my parents know just how fulfilled my job is making me feel. And I know my parents know I must have a good reason for having this pierce. I just do not know why they are so stubborn. If only there is a personality softener for sale on our local supermarkets.

I know my life has gotten a bit more complicated, just when I was beginning to think it couldn’t possibly get any more complicated. I am being forced to quit a job I like. I am being forced to remove something I like. All because I was being honest.

Honesty sucks. I always thought being more honest is a sign of maturity, but it gets you into more trouble than you could possibly imagine. I guess I was making the effort of being more honest with my parents because as an adult, I thought that whatever I decided to do, they would respect. But the way they dealt with me puts me on defense once again. Just like the rebellious fifteen year-old that I once was.

*union