andie and roa

Posted by andie under Uncategorized

 This is a conversation between Andie and Roa Ming some time today, around 12 noon.

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Andie: Can you please stop crying? You are starting to get on my nerves.

Roa:    I’ll stop once you teach me how to stop hurting.

A:        It’s been two days! You have to get over it! It’s not like you’re crying over a lost love or something.

R:        I know! How can you ever suppose that I don’t know?!? It’s the ugliest and most stupid video in the world, yes!!! I KNOW!!!

A:        If you do know, then why the tears?!? IT HAS BEEN TWO DAYS, GODAMMIT!

R:        Because the moment I remember that I spent a total of half a day on it, it becomes more than just a stupid and ugly video. And the moment I remember that it is more than just a stupid and ugly video to me, I start blaming myself for being stupid and ugly. I start wishing I was never born. I start wishing I read a new book all those hours I spent making it. I wish I were crying over a lost love instead of this. I wish I were dead.

A:         Why do you wish all these things? Especially the last one?

R:        Maybe because if someone up there listened and made it come true, I’d stop hurting.

A:        What makes you think you’d stop hurting that easily? It’s like saying I’d stop being angry the moment a person steps on my foot.

R:         Because the moment I die, I’m numb.

A:        Your body, maybe. But how would you feel if you saw people moving on without a trace of tears on their faces after you die?

R:        Hurt?

A:        Don’t answer me with a question! You know very well what I am talking about! The moment you die, there’s no chocolate mousse to soothe the pain after a really bad exam, and there’s no Andie to get you through things like these. Nothing at all to soothe your pains! The moment you die, and you end up hurting with what you see, you’ll end up hurting for all eternity! And you know very well that when you die, so would I. So keep strong, man! Live your life so that when you die, you’d see a lot of crying that would make you cry, too, but this time, in a happy and proud way. You hear me?

R:        …

A:        I guess that means a yes. Now, for some ice cream…

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The thing about Roa Ming is that she’s emo. And sometimes illogical. Andie, on the other hand, crazy as she might be, has this anger that fires her up without blinding her logic. People can barely tell who they are talking to. They think it’s mostly Andie, when in fact, Roa has been quite dominant lately. People know Andie by name, but not by trait. People know Roa by trait, not by name. People take Andie as the one having the traits of Roa, without knowing that Roa exists.

Roa would kill herself at the littlest bird poop dropping on her best shirt. It is Andie’s job to stop her.

Which one of me do you happen to know better?