AndieCrafts

I just got home from school, and I really feel so tired, and hungry. I have only eaten a spoonful of rice, and a very little amount of scrambled eggs and corned beef for breakfast. Then I ate a cup of rice with kare-kare for lunch, and drank iced tea before I left school. And I would have to eat dinner as well, because I am currently taking those asthma medicines (corticosteroids) that make me fatter by the pill. Well, generally, my day went just fine for someone who hates going back to school, and going back made me remember my real responsibilities for my future. Anyway, right now, I really, really want to box my mom’s nose, for she is starting to bring up the issue of my bad habit again.

Now, back to my school issue. I just hated to go back to school. I still am so tired and I really do wish that I would not have to go back to school until I feel like it. But I have my responsibilities to fulfill, and going to school is just one of those responsibilities I have to endure no matter how miserable my life gets when I do. Anyway, I would rather feel a little bleak right now than be completely dismal later. And I guess that school is not really that bad, especially when one has friends to endure that agony of going daily to school, having to learn stuff one will not really apply in real life or in having a career, and will probably just forget once a two-week Christmas break meets them with an auspicious eye (guilt admitted here!).

I have had a goal of transferring to a better college, which is the University of the Philippines Diliman Campus. And of becoming a First Honors Dean’s Lister this semester. Those two actually coincide with one another, and achieving one would generally mean that I have accomplished the other. I really want these goals so bad, and this want (perhaps even a need?) is not without its own reasons and advantages.

Being a First Honors Dean’s Lister would mean a more beautiful transcript, and keeping up such feat will most probably mean that nobody should be likely to ignore me in a forthcoming chapter of my life when I am looking for a job. Working for such an honor would be difficult, I know, but its rewards are more gratifying in ways more than one. I shall be able to have a more promising future, and my parents will have more reasons to rejoice and relax, knowing that they shall never be left to wander astray when they start losing certain bodily functions that old age brings along with it. Not to forget that acquiring such honor shall give more glory to my God, knowing that I have used the potentials He has given me in the best way that I could.

The other goal, however, magnifies the rewards brought about by my other goal. Going to a better school shall bring me better prospects for work. Going to this school also means cutting down expenses. It would have been fine if I were studying in my present school, even with its expenses, only if I am able to see the worth of my parents’ money. We pay such a large tuition, and yet the services, the quality of education, some teachers (if not most), and the classrooms reek real badly!!! Some people may put up with such an abomination, and might even consider it quite a blessing to study in my current school, but I certainly do not! Finally, selfish as it may sound, I really want to try my luck away from home. I am so tired with having my mom, or my sister, or my brother having to treat me poorly, even if I have tried to change my ways. I somehow believe that being away from home for a while might really buy me time to improve my relationship with my family, because sometimes, spending too much time with certain people might just bring a certain familiarity that brings about unmeant hurtful treatment and wounding words.

It is raining right now, and I am tempted to go outside and soak myself until the rain washes my internal organs away. Sounds gross right? Despite the grotesque situation I would really want to experience, I shall restrain myself, for my goals, and my health. I might catch the occasional bug, and things can get pretty nasty when I have the flu, considering the situation I am in right now, which is that of the almost futile exertion of effort trying to tame my asthma. And that might mean having to miss a few days of school, which, by far, I have not dared to do in college. Anyway, I shall be resting now, or I might play the Sims (I hate to admit it, but I am ALMOST addicted to the game), if no one else is using the computer outside. I shall attempt to update one more time before the day ends.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 4th, 2005 at 6:02 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.