memory and thoughts brought about by idleness
I am feeling extremely stupid right now. Posting a new blog has not been part of my plans, but then I am here doing that which was unplanned. The reason for this is that I have left my old entries (the entries which I am supposed to post NOW) at home.
My memory has both failed and hailed me in ways unaccountable. The shame and pride brought about by my memory has made and broken me much more than what is normally possible. But then it seems that only the eternal shame sticks to my senses, whereas the glory has been blown to the wind, remembered only when I am near to end my bad habit of living.
Anyway, to account for the forgetfulness which has brought me five wasted minutes of internet time, I shall now impart the thoughts which managed to occupy my head these past few days of idleness.
I have realized that I am not one to disregard the value of the breath of life, although I may be one to disregard the meaning for which the breath has been loaded and exuded. I am often left breathless (to the point of choking, such as one feels when they end their own habit–be it good or bad–of living by means of hanging their necks) due to an unfortunate sickness called asthma. A good way to exhibit this is through an example: Yesterday, I left the house early in the morning due to this sickness. I reached the pharmacy looking for my medicine, and the pharmacist was stupefied at the sight of me chocking, as if someone invisible was strangling me to death.
And now to the meaning. Some, if not most, of the time, I am staring imbecile-like into space, noting the emptiness of my life, which, by the way (well, according to those intelects who surround me), is highly insensible. I have not yet managed to end this ultimate vice of mine, although I am on the way. I should say, not only on my behalf, but also of the people by my side, that such a road is not a simple one. In fact, I cannot help but cry, as I am more often than not on the verge of quiting this path to a meaningful life.
As it seems that my words are not to be understood by anybody but me, I shall end this entry sooner than I hoped (or perhaps way later than you prayed).
As my internet hours are slowly coming to an end, I bid you, my reader, a most grateful and regretful (at parting) adieu…