perfectionism and pessimism
My perfectionist methods have begun paving ways for pessimistic views. I have started to notice that the frequency of my pessimistic thoughts have reached quite an alarming point. I have been having thoughts, generally about loved ones leaving my life forever in ways highly unrecommended. To say it this way highly alleviates the gore and complete lack of hope which accompanies these pessimistic thoughts. Nevertheless, the very truth remains that the carefree person that I was might be going away completely and too soon.
It brings a little consolation when I think about the changes that had been happening to the ways with which I have chosen to live my life. And yet it scares me to no bounds just knowing that I may die sad and too soon should every drop of who I was completely drain from my very soul.